Welcome to Green Gables!

The Leo girls 5th-12th grade had a big "Anne of Green Gables" Tea Party & "awake-over" a few weeks ago. Kels had SO MUCH FUN! :) She forgot to take her camera, or I'm sure she would have had alot more pictures! Anyway, I thought you'd all enjoy these :)

Love you ALL & MISS YOU!!!!

Kristy

They all looked simply lovely, wouldn't you say!

Kelsey "Anne with an E" with her friends Grace & Moriah :)

Hoffmann Look a likes

I was looking through old photos and found this picture of Emitt. Since people always think it's strange that I say that Titus and Emitt look alike I thought I'd post these two pics. What do you think?
Bekah

Random Pictures

I love this picture of my Dad with our three kids. I don't know if he was "pretending" to be on the phone or what.
Where I find one....I'm sure to find the other. Playing nicely or fighting or loading the toilet with t.p, or getting locked in Abram's room....these two keep me on my toes.

Why don't they make these cozy coops wider?!

This picture need explanation: As Chase was climbing the step stool to get something out of the cabinet...he jumped off and the knob on the cabinet caught his pants and left him in mid-air. We left him hanging a while as we grabbed the camera and snapped a couple pictures. We had some good laughs!!

Abram and Family update

I thought you all might be curious as to how Abram is doing, medically and his over all adjustment.

Medically, Abram has complete transposition of the great vessels(his heart/vessels are flip flopped), VSD(hole in his heart), and narrow pulmanary artary(which lessens the blood flow). He's been to our Peditrician and to the cardilogist a few times. He's had an ECHO, and then another one(put Abram under for the second one), EKG, and now needs a cardiac catherization.

I'm a bit frustrated with the appointment date of the cardic catherization, because it was set up for April 15th(I wanted it done early next week) and now it's been changed for April 22nd. ARRR! Though it does sound like this is the last test before his surgery. I've called(twice) and expressed my concern, wanting a sooner appointment, but that hasn't changed anything. How is it that the Dr.'s and nurses seem to express amazement over his oxygen saturation level(70-72), the blueness of his lips, fingers, and toes and the clubbing of his fingers and toes, but yet hold off on his last test for 3-4 weeks?! ...So Jeff called this afternoon and asked if our cardiologist was ok with this appointment(being 3 weeks away from now). A nurse called back and explained some things that made more sense as to why they are waiting. Due to his pulmonary artery being so narrow, they are concerned that a "normal" catheter will not be able to make it up his artery. They need a "special" piece of equipment in case they can't do a normal catheterization...which is coming with a rep from Canada who travels all over the US doing these tests. He flys in on April 21st, which is why our appointment was delayed til the 22nd. They want to make sure they get all the information they need now before his surgery. This information made us feel a lot better about why we're waiting. (Sorry for the general terms...I (Jeff) didn't totally understand everything she was telling me!)

His pediatrician said if my oxygen saturation level were to dip down to that level, we'd be unconsious. Abram's body has compensated for everything over time. We are hoping that Abram will have surgery done in a few weeks. As his body grows, he will need surgery again as a teen or in his early adult years. (Aaron or Bekah, you can correct me if I stated something wrong or whatever!!)

In my little understanding, Abram should have had some sort of surgery as an infant and then again at 2 years of age. He has NOT had any surgeries. I don't believe this is a reflection of China's care, as much as it is that Abram came from a poor province.

With all that said, we are SO thankful for a good children's hospital and good doctors so close by!! I pray that God will give them wisdom as they view his test results and as they perform surgery. So, how is Abram adjusting?...That's hard to sum it up in one statement. He still loves to be held, snuggled in the mornings and held throughout the day. Sometimes, I get to point where my arms can't take it any more or I'm emotionally spent and then he sits at my feet screaming and crying. There are times that he is distracted by Chase or Aubrey. I'm so thankful that Abram is NOT our first and he HAS siblings here at home!!

Chase loves being with Abram and Abram adores Chase. It's really cute to see the two together. Aubrey, on the other hand, wants to mother him....and he doesn't like it from her!! They have a love/hate relationship. Aubrey's struggling in sharing me and gets jealous pretty easy.

In the afternoons, Abram will nap(usually for 40min-1hour) while Chase is at school. During this time, Aubrey has me all to herself...but it still never seems to be enough time for her. Since Abram takes up so much of our time, our Saturday's are spent by taking Chase and Aubrey out on "dates" with me or Jeff.

I find myself wishing away these adjustment days and I know I shouldn't. It's been a refining process(for me), to say the least.

They really do have fun sometimes.

pretend bunk beds one of my favorite pics isn't she cute?!

A brother, at last!!

The Longest Day of our Lives

This post is mostly for myself...So I can alway's look back and remember our last day and the marathon flight back home. I know it's taken me awhile to post this, but you'd understand if you were exhausted, sick, trying to catch up with laundry and loving on 3 kids.


Friday started ok, but by mid-morning, Abram had another melt down that lasted awhile. Later on we tag teamed, so that we could complete our devotions, personal time and packing. We headed out for lunch at Subway and then on to the market place and the pedestrian street. Once again, we needed to keep busy to help pass time... But, Wow!! The streets were packed!! Way busier than black Friday shopping!


We got back and checked out of our hotel and were shuttled to the airport. Our 1st flight was the longest, 12 hours and didn't leave until 9:45 pm. Abram slept for all but 2-3 hours of this flight! The beauty of a night flight! He did a lot of tossing and turning and even fell off the seat once, but at least he slept! We arrived in L.A. at 5pm....Friday night...talk about the longest day of our life! Going through customs and immigration was a nightmare with this little guy who had been already cooped up on the plane!


One fun perk to this 6 hour lay over was that Jeff's cousin and her husband and children live in L.A. and made the trip to the airport to see us and pick us up cheeseburgers on the way! A taste of America and California! They just adopted 2 from Ethiopia 2 months ago, so it was fun to hear their stories...just being a bit ahead of us in the journey.

It made the layover, so much more enjoyable and our travels, that much more fun!! Thanks Brian, April, Judah and Addise!

Our next leg of the trip...L.A. to Chicago...4-5 hour trip.....went horrible! Abram wasn't content, he only wanted Jeff to hold him (standing up). Finally, after Jeff was so exhausted (physically and emotionally), he handed Abram off to me. He screamed, cried and thrashed so hard, that I struggled to keep ahold of him. For as many condensending glances I got, I was able to remain calm and kept whispering words of love and softly sang to him. Finally his body gave in to sleep, as I held him and kept rocking him. That was the worst of that trip...but it still wasn't smooth sailing with Abram, as he would wake up crying off and on for the next hour. I look back and have to thank God for his provision for us emotionally and phyically. Thank you for praying.


Arriving in Chicago was the most pleasant sight to behold. Not only where we in the US, but we were in Illinois and our last flight would be short!


O'Hare airport has a small children's discovery/playground area that we headed to right away when we got there! Abram loved it! It was so good to let him burn some energy. The 3 hour lay over seemed to fly by between the playground and getting some breakfast.


Before our last flight took off, Abram fell asleep in Jeff's arms. Shortly, we landed home, as our anticipation peeked and we couldn't wait to reunite with Chase, Aubrey, family and friends. As we opened the door to leave the security area, the applause and cheers could be heard throughout the airport of our family and friends. What an amazing moment to see Chase and Aubrey, to see the excitement of everyone in the room! I thought I would be a complete emotional wreck at this point, but I wasn't. The excitement to see everyone and appreciation for all they had done welled up inside me. It meant the world to us, to see our family and friends come meet us on that Saturday morning!


How can I begin to express our appreciating for those of you that prayed for us (prayed and prayed some more), that gave to us financially (to help us bring Abram home!), that sent us encouraging notes, email, comments on the blog, made us meals....the list could go on and on. I've loved sharing this adoption with you! It's been so special to include our family, friends, and church family in on this process. What a blessing you've all been to us!


I sometimes wonder how long Abram had been "up for adoption", how many families had seen his file, how long would have it been for him to have a "forever family", if it wasn't for all of you. God choose us to parent him and for the body of Christ to support us. It has forever changed our lives.


Now the blogging is done for me (for the most part) even though our adventure is just beginning.(and let me tell you...oh the tears we've had with all the kids!) We still have doctor's appointments, surgery's and more adjusting. If I let my mind wonder too much, I begin to fear that Abram won't make it through his surgeries...but I can't let my mind go there. For right now, this is where God has us. For right now, Abram Zan Tao has a family that loves him. For right now, I need to praise HIM.

(Playing Peek-a-boo)

("What'd you say?!" )

(Entertain Abram with a balloon at the airport. Desprate times, call for desparate measures)

(Chase excited about his new brother)

Keeping Busy

Thank you for all of the prayers. Today went much smoother…though not perfect.

Abram woke up at 4:50 this morning and I could tell he wasn’t going to go back to his crib. I laid him down with Jeff and he slept with us for the next 2 hours. I know I’ve wrote it before, but he is such a “snuggle bug” in the mornings!

Later that morning, things were heading in the same direction as yesterday…not good! We decided that we needed to keep busy, so we loaded up, got a taxi and went to the city zoo.

(How are we supposed to know that this is the zoo entrance?

Looks like the bus parking lot!)

Since it was a week day and the weather was cooler, the zoo was very empty. We didn’t have an agenda…as long as we were busy and Abram was content, life was good. We walked, Abram walked some, and other times he was content to be in the sling. The zoo was nothing compared to the Safari Park that we were at on Sunday, but still way better than the zoos around our area back home.

We ate our lunch there, but there wasn’t a lot to choose between. Jeff and I got a bowl of Ramen noodles and crackers for Abram (so we thought, but it was actually cookies, oops!). He’s lucky that right now we are ignorant! Once we are home I’ll be familiar with all the packages and labels. After we purchased them, we realized that the package said “Digestive Biscuits”…we’ll see what happens to Abram’s BMs tomorrow! :) By early afternoon we called it quits, before he would be too tired.

Much to our disappointment, Abram wouldn’t take a nap this afternoon. What else can you do, but “roll with the punches”?!

One fun twist to our China travel is that a group of 3 Chinese students traveled 2 hours today, just to meet up with us. What’s crazy to me, is that they didn’t even know us, but they knew some of our friends! Last semester, these 3 students (Ken, Ben and Charlotte) studied in the US and got to know some of the people from our church. Late this afternoon, they arrived and we hung out for the evening. We went to a restaurant that served a variety of ethnic cuisines.

(I ordered baked Alaskan cod…but didn’t expect to see my food staring back at me!)

Abram, for as tired as he was, did the best he’s done at supper tonight. It was a relief not to leave the restaurant with a screaming child. It was also handy having 3 friends who spoke fluent English and Mandarin, as they would ask the waitress questions for us and then interpret.

(the Chinese language book we brought to “help” us communicate. Our Chinese friends got a kick out of it)
Also, this evening, we got Abram’s visa/passport!! It’s final, he’s ours! As soon as we cross into the US and go through Immigration, he’s a US citizen! Tomorrow we have most of the day here and then a night flight, back to the US.

(the famous red couch picture with the last documents we needed to travel back home)

Tomorrow, I’m going to pack and see how much room we have left in our luggage…maybe I can talk Jeff into letting me purchase those beautifully painted bowls that I saw in one of the shops. I’ll see. :)

Love,

Jeff, Chelby & Abram

P.S. this will probably be our last post before we come back home since we leave our hotel tomorrow at 5 pm local time (3 am central time) to begin our marathon journey home! Prayers for patience & wisdom would be much appreciated!

Dreaming of Personal Space & a Routine!

We got up at 5:15 this morning (since we had our US Consulate appointment this morning), but unfortunately our little guy woke up at the same time. One hour later we went down for breakfast. Towards the end of our breakfast Abram threw a fit because he wanted Jeff’s yogurt and not his yogurt. So I carried my screaming and thrashing child out of the sitting area and headed straight for our room. It’s been hard to find the balance of, “is he throwing a fit because he needs something, or is it just a want, or has he gotten so much attention from us that he’s manipulating, or is he just exhausted and doesn’t know ‘what end is up’?”

So, needless to say, we had a rough morning. We were just about to leave our room, to meet for the shuttle bus (for our US consulate appointment), but I had to change a poopy diaper (funny how they always manage to do it right when you need to go!). Abram was so mad and thrashing around, that I said, “forget it..maybe later he’ll settle down and let me”. Once we were in the lobby and waiting, we had a bit of time, so Jeff took him to the bathroom. I could hear Abram screaming and crying….poor Jeff. I’m getting the feeling that Abram is so loud, that everyone in our hotel is starting to recognize his voice. I guess Abram fits into our home/house hold all that much more!

Our appointment went fine, nothing exciting to tell about. Tomorrow (late) we will get his visa. Yeah!! That’s the final step before leaving.

After we got back and had another full blown fit in public (one Chinese woman stared at us for what seemed like an eternity), we grabbed something for Abram to eat and headed for our room to put him down for a nap. Every nap time and at night, either Jeff or I will rock him and sing to him until he is asleep. As we set him down, if he wakes up, he will immediately arch his back and start screaming. There have been times that we’ve had to let him cry it out (because we tried and tried), but lately he seems to calm down faster and fall asleep. It will be nice to eventually get into a routine, something we both miss.

Even though his tantrums aren’t any fun (no one’s are), we are so thankful that we’ve experienced this MANY times before with our other 2 children. Abram’s motives and feelings might be different than our biological children…but the tantrum still looks the same. It’s wearing, emotionally exhausting, and sometimes physically exhausting, but it’s to be expected from a toddler…especially a toddler that’s undergoing HUGE change. I keep praying that God will help me to be sensitive and discerning through it all.

During Abram’s nap, I “shooed” Jeff out the door, he needed a break! He was able to make some purchases at the shops (that we looked at yesterday) and to pick up Subway for lunch. He needed a chance to walk around without carrying Abram around with him. Much to our disappointment, Abram only napped for 40 minutes today and wouldn’t go back to sleep.

This afternoon, I left the boys and ran to a spa that’s a few blocks away. I’ve had a few different people tell me about the 70 minute foot massage, for only $11(US). Oh my, was it ever….wonderful? Ticklish? Painful? It was all of that. To start out, they brought in a bucket of scalding hot liquid (the color of coffee, but smelled of Chinese herb). They had to cool the water before my feet could handle it. Then they brought in hot tea for me to drink and orange slices to eat. The lady had me sit on the ottoman, and rubbed (or more like dug into) my shoulder, neck, back and arms. Very thorough, though sometimes painful. Then she had me sit on the chair while she proceeded to massage my feet and legs. She did a warm towel wrap to my calves and feet….ooh it was awesome. So over all, it was well worth the $11 that I paid! Though I’ve heard other people say, “why did I pay $10 to have someone beat me up?!”

Today, we felt a bit stir crazy since it was raining outside. There’s a play room here in the hotel, but Abram won’t play in there unless other children are there….social boy…just like my Chase. Out of desperation for something to do, I filled the tub up with bubbles and we (Abram and me, of course) leaned over and played in the water with measuring cups and spoons.

It kept him busy for awhile until his shirt was completely soaked.

Tonight we ate out with Ryan and Heather at the Thai Restaurant. It all went ok, until Abram wanted no supper and only my soda (which had caffeine in it) and Jeff’s kiwi juice. Yup, another melt down! Poor Ryan and Heather, for putting up with us.

Abram rarely tries anything new, which in some ways, is fine for right now. But even if he’s eaten a large breakfast, as soon as he gets into our room, he’s whining for snacks. He would snack all day, if we’d let him and then he would never be hungry enough to try lunch or supper. I wonder if snacking is part of the way he copes with everything right now. This is very frustrating to us, because all we hear from him is whining.

I think both Jeff and I feel a bit worn out and need space from Abram and each other. We are sick of living out of suitcases….ok, now I’m complaining! We are so close, but yet, home seems so far away. And then once we’re home, a new adventure begins, with new sets of issues. Please pray for our patience and creativity for the next two days ahead of us. We don’t have anything planned and feel confined. There are some awesome day tours to do, but it would be miserable with a toddler.

After reading this, don’t get me wrong, I don’t question us being matched with Abram and I love the little booger, he can be tons of fun! We just need SPACE and a routine!

Love,

Jeff, Chelby & Abram

(Abram looking like his name's sake from the Old Testament:))

Update

Abram woke up at 6:40 this morning and snuggled in bed with us for the next 20 minutes…and it was a true snuggle time, no squirming. Most mornings, he is very snuggly, as he toddles up to us, scratching his bed head and rubbing his sleepy eyes. Whether we are in bed, up doing our devotions or getting ready in the bathroom, we savor these moments with him. Once he’s truly awake, he’s on the run and constantly wants something.

Today we tag teamed with allowing each other breaks. I took Abram while Jeff went for a run, Jeff took Abram while I did my devotions…We went back and forth until we both got our devotions in and our run in.

Before breakfast, we skyped my sister, Christa and her husband, Tim and their two kids. Right after that we skyped Jeff’s parents and the kids. It’s been wonderful to stay connected to our family through skype.

This afternoon we walked the shops around here. We are expected to barter with them, which I don’t like doing. Everyone seems to have “a special price” for us. They quote me a price and then they tell me if I purchase more they will have “a special price just for me”. Inside one shop, a man painted Abram’s name in Chinese calligraphy...pretty cool.


Our evening has been low key. Abram went to bed early, since we have an early morning, tomorrow. Our consulate appointment is in the morning. Late on Thursday we will get his visa and then we get to fly home on Friday! We’ve commented how few of appointments we really have and that they haven’t been very long….but here we are, in China for 2 weeks. There’s a part of me that’s glad that we have 2 weeks here. Two weeks to experience his homeland, 2 weeks to try to establish some sort of relationship before boarding an airplane and traveling half way around the world, 2 weeks to realize everything that I appreciate about home, our family, our friends and our kids.

Thanks so much for the comments!

Love,

Jeff, Chelby & Abram

(Jeff had to check out the power tools. This was his kind of shopping)

(Abram is delighted to talk on the phone)

Safari Park...

This morning we met with another couple (with our same agency) and went to the Safari Park. The Safari Park was VERY impressive!! We counted at least 20 giraffes and, yes, 10 PandasThey had LOTS of every kind of animal. I think Jeff and I enjoyed it way more than Abram. We wish Chase and Aubrey could have been there, they would have loved it!

Our afternoon was low key. We did some walking and enjoyed the chance to talk with other adoptive parents. One mom made the statement about her new little girl, “she’s still ‘mommy shopping’ and will go up to anyone, not realizing that I’m her mom.” She said it with such calmness, knowing that her little girl will come around. It put me at such ease. Though we don’t know how much Abram sees us as his parents, he does allow himself to be cuddled and loved on by both of us and he will still give us kisses.

Sunday night we ordered in Papa John’s Pizza (thanks to our safari friends for telling us) and ate outside of a café with our “hotel neighbor”. She’s the mother that traveled alone to pick up their child while her husband is home with their 5 other children. We ate pizza while our boys ate rice. She shared her adoption stories and how God has changed her heart…considering she only ever wanted 2 children. Afterwards we walked to the park together and let the boys burn some energy. It was an enjoyable evening.

Monday morning, we were able to skype both of our parents and the kids. It was good to see the kids…the other times we skyped, they didn’t have a webcam, so they could only see us.

Abram took a fall right before we were to meet our guide, so we had to quickly find some ice for his head. He knocked it pretty good, but he seems to have a high pain tolerance, considering he didn’t cry for long.

Our guide took us to a market place where we saw dried sea horses,

beetles, scorpions and other fun items that the Chinese add to soups or drinks.We also saw large buckets of live scorpions for sale (pretty gross).From there we went to the shopping mall/pedestrian street.

For the most part, Abram wants to be carried and doesn’t want the stroller…our arms are exhausted! We looked into purchasing a baby/toddler carrier and bought one…..but 5 minutes later we returned it because Abram wanted nothing to do with it.

Thankfully our guide was with us and handled returning the item. We ended up purchasing a sling that was much cheaper and Abram tolerates it.

Tonight (Monday night) we went out for supper with our “Indiana, same agency, safari” friends – Ryan & Heather.

Afterwards we went to the deli and got dessert. The days can get kinda slow here, so it’s nice to have other friends to join up with and talk. One side note here…tonight we met a couple who adopted a one year old girl and they live in my home town. Isn’t that nuts? What a small world!

Slowly we are starting to understand Abram…(i.e. when he gets tired he gets “wound up” and “slap happy” - literally!) We are still working with sign language, hoping that lessens his whining (which we hear a lot of!) Communication barrier….6-7 months ago we were in the thick of it with Aubrey and now we are starting all over again. Patience, right?! I feel like this is a honeymoon period with him. Life is all about him. He gets all of our attention. He doesn’t have to share with anyone. It will be very interesting to see how he does when we come home.

We both have moments of going “stir crazy” here…but, thankfully, I don’t feel homesick yet. I’m trying to enjoy every bit that we have here. Tomorrow is a complete free day, so we need to figure out some kid friendly schedule and activities to keep busy with, otherwise the day will be so slow.

Love,

Jeff, Chelby & Abram

(lunch with Ryan & Heather & Silas at Safari Park)

(Trying to write blog posts or check email with Abram is no picnic!)

(Walking to the park with, Maria, our neighbor)

Abram demanding to have his hat & mittens on while in the hotel room

(i.e. he wants to go outside!)

(Safari Park)