Dreaming of Personal Space & a Routine!

We got up at 5:15 this morning (since we had our US Consulate appointment this morning), but unfortunately our little guy woke up at the same time. One hour later we went down for breakfast. Towards the end of our breakfast Abram threw a fit because he wanted Jeff’s yogurt and not his yogurt. So I carried my screaming and thrashing child out of the sitting area and headed straight for our room. It’s been hard to find the balance of, “is he throwing a fit because he needs something, or is it just a want, or has he gotten so much attention from us that he’s manipulating, or is he just exhausted and doesn’t know ‘what end is up’?”

So, needless to say, we had a rough morning. We were just about to leave our room, to meet for the shuttle bus (for our US consulate appointment), but I had to change a poopy diaper (funny how they always manage to do it right when you need to go!). Abram was so mad and thrashing around, that I said, “forget it..maybe later he’ll settle down and let me”. Once we were in the lobby and waiting, we had a bit of time, so Jeff took him to the bathroom. I could hear Abram screaming and crying….poor Jeff. I’m getting the feeling that Abram is so loud, that everyone in our hotel is starting to recognize his voice. I guess Abram fits into our home/house hold all that much more!

Our appointment went fine, nothing exciting to tell about. Tomorrow (late) we will get his visa. Yeah!! That’s the final step before leaving.

After we got back and had another full blown fit in public (one Chinese woman stared at us for what seemed like an eternity), we grabbed something for Abram to eat and headed for our room to put him down for a nap. Every nap time and at night, either Jeff or I will rock him and sing to him until he is asleep. As we set him down, if he wakes up, he will immediately arch his back and start screaming. There have been times that we’ve had to let him cry it out (because we tried and tried), but lately he seems to calm down faster and fall asleep. It will be nice to eventually get into a routine, something we both miss.

Even though his tantrums aren’t any fun (no one’s are), we are so thankful that we’ve experienced this MANY times before with our other 2 children. Abram’s motives and feelings might be different than our biological children…but the tantrum still looks the same. It’s wearing, emotionally exhausting, and sometimes physically exhausting, but it’s to be expected from a toddler…especially a toddler that’s undergoing HUGE change. I keep praying that God will help me to be sensitive and discerning through it all.

During Abram’s nap, I “shooed” Jeff out the door, he needed a break! He was able to make some purchases at the shops (that we looked at yesterday) and to pick up Subway for lunch. He needed a chance to walk around without carrying Abram around with him. Much to our disappointment, Abram only napped for 40 minutes today and wouldn’t go back to sleep.

This afternoon, I left the boys and ran to a spa that’s a few blocks away. I’ve had a few different people tell me about the 70 minute foot massage, for only $11(US). Oh my, was it ever….wonderful? Ticklish? Painful? It was all of that. To start out, they brought in a bucket of scalding hot liquid (the color of coffee, but smelled of Chinese herb). They had to cool the water before my feet could handle it. Then they brought in hot tea for me to drink and orange slices to eat. The lady had me sit on the ottoman, and rubbed (or more like dug into) my shoulder, neck, back and arms. Very thorough, though sometimes painful. Then she had me sit on the chair while she proceeded to massage my feet and legs. She did a warm towel wrap to my calves and feet….ooh it was awesome. So over all, it was well worth the $11 that I paid! Though I’ve heard other people say, “why did I pay $10 to have someone beat me up?!”

Today, we felt a bit stir crazy since it was raining outside. There’s a play room here in the hotel, but Abram won’t play in there unless other children are there….social boy…just like my Chase. Out of desperation for something to do, I filled the tub up with bubbles and we (Abram and me, of course) leaned over and played in the water with measuring cups and spoons.

It kept him busy for awhile until his shirt was completely soaked.

Tonight we ate out with Ryan and Heather at the Thai Restaurant. It all went ok, until Abram wanted no supper and only my soda (which had caffeine in it) and Jeff’s kiwi juice. Yup, another melt down! Poor Ryan and Heather, for putting up with us.

Abram rarely tries anything new, which in some ways, is fine for right now. But even if he’s eaten a large breakfast, as soon as he gets into our room, he’s whining for snacks. He would snack all day, if we’d let him and then he would never be hungry enough to try lunch or supper. I wonder if snacking is part of the way he copes with everything right now. This is very frustrating to us, because all we hear from him is whining.

I think both Jeff and I feel a bit worn out and need space from Abram and each other. We are sick of living out of suitcases….ok, now I’m complaining! We are so close, but yet, home seems so far away. And then once we’re home, a new adventure begins, with new sets of issues. Please pray for our patience and creativity for the next two days ahead of us. We don’t have anything planned and feel confined. There are some awesome day tours to do, but it would be miserable with a toddler.

After reading this, don’t get me wrong, I don’t question us being matched with Abram and I love the little booger, he can be tons of fun! We just need SPACE and a routine!

Love,

Jeff, Chelby & Abram

(Abram looking like his name's sake from the Old Testament:))