An excerpt from Lisa's journal...

I cut-and-pasted a part of Lisa's journal entry from today. Just thought you might like to hear her amazing words and feelings...

So how do I pray and what do I hope? Well, I hope that this works, however, God knows best and I have to trust Him. If it is my time to go, Heaven sounds comforting and restful. You see, I am tired of fighting, tired of the struggle, tired of the ups and the downs, tired of this world. But you also see, I have family and friends here that I do not want to leave. After losing Micah I realized how bad it hurts to lose someone close. I don't want my friends and family to hurt because of me. I have events that I want to be here for. Lots I would still like to do and places I would still like to see. And the dying part - well what is it like to die? Would I go slowly or quickly? Would I hurt?
Is all hope gone? NO! Dr. Gingrich says he has seen this work before, and hopes it works now. Me, I hope for a little longer life, however, like I said, I am weary and tired of the fight so Heaven looks good too. My heart is heavy. I am a worrier and I dread getting sick again and wonder how bad I will get. Then will I get better or not? Oh, the questions and the tears. Then I question my life, have I lived a good enough life, I should have read and prayed more, and done more for others, etc. Oh, round and round my mind goes. I cry and cry and then laugh and then cry some more. I just can't seem to to get myself under control.
Yes, I am hopeful and realize that God can heal me anytime with or without the Dr. help. I am hoping for good results for the donor T-cells (they gave them to me yesterday and they take about 2 weeks to take affect) and that we will be rejoicing in the miracle of recovery. But God is facing me to really look at my life and saying "are you really ready to come if I call you?" Oh, and there is a little boy in Heaven standing by the gate, jumping up and down, waiting for me and cheering me on through the rest of my days here. How I long to hold Micah.
Please pray that God's ultimate will be done. That's all I really want is His will. But I need courage through this all. I need strength and peace and comfort. Please pray and help hold me up no matter come what may. God bless you.